8 of the Dirtiest Jokes from ‘SNL’s Sleazy Waiter Mother’s Day Sketch
SNL has a long history of sketches featuring skeezy waiters. The best example is probably Dana Carvey making sweet love to Kirstie Alley’s face in the Il Cantore sketch back in 1991. Alley deserved combat pay for the lashing she took from Carvey’s overly amorous tongue.
Host Walter Goggins, shirt unbuttoned to his navel, took on the role of the horny waiter this week. His Albee is looking for love on Mother’s Day, doing his best to romance two moms out for brunch with their adult sons. His flirtation isn’t exactly subtle — here are eight of Albee’s horniest jokes:
”You’re Getting a Big Tip, Mister!”
After Sarah Sherman’s mom character promises him a good tip, Albee assures her, “No need. I already got one.”
Mother Lover
“I’ve always been attracted to mothers,” Albee assures the older ladies. “Perhaps it’s because my own mother was such an angel. Or possibly because once I came of age, I slept with every single one of her friends.”
Stop Flirting With Our Moms!
When one of the sons, played by Mikey Day, objects to Goggins’ flirting, he asks, “Are you the Lord Jesus? Then don’t be cross.”
And Another Thing, Son
“Just because your mama baked you don’t mean other men don’t want to see the oven.”
”Is the Mimosa Bottomless?”
“Yes ma’am,” says the love-starved waiter. “And maybe after you’ve had a couple, you’ll be too.”
”Did You Unbutton Your Shirt More?”
“Yes, I did. Your turn, ladies.”
After Another Son Protest…
“Calm down, boy. You got to spend nine months inside your mama. I’m just trying to get 20 minutes.”
At the Prospect of One of the Mamas Being a Little Gassy
“So? I’ve never complained about a breeze blowing through my hair.”
Eww.
